You're not stuck, you're just not listening

A real-world look at how building a feedback loop helped me stop overthinking and start growing.

Author

Irina Constantin
April 17, 2025

I saw this tweet and immediately felt called out.

Because, yeah that was me.

I used to tell myself I was being thoughtful. Strategic. Careful.

But the truth? I was just afraid someone would tell me it wasn’t good enough.

The first time a real feedback humbled me: I launched an early version of my product and sent it to someone I really respected.

I expected encouragement. Maybe a “nice job.”

Instead, I got this: “This seems more like a feature than a product.”

I wanted to disappear.

But I didn’t.

I went back to the whiteboard and tore it apart. That one line, as painful as it was, made the product better.

What I do different now

These days, I treat feedback like a system. It looks something like this:

  1. Ship something  even if it’s not perfect

  1. Share it with people who will be honest

  1. Listen  without arguing

  1. Log patterns, not just one-off comments

  1. Adjust + repeat

I stopped looking at feedback as judgment. I started seeing it as data. Messy, emotional, wildly valuable data.

Not everyone will get it. And not all feedback is useful.

But the act of asking to open that loop will force clarity.

Thinking in systems made it obvious to me

Reading Thinking in Systems by Donella Meadows changed the game for me. She writes:

“A feedback loop is a closed chain of causal connections... It is a mechanism for adjusting a system’s behavior over time.”

Everything we build is a system, our product, our startup, our own growth, our relationships

Feedback is how that system evolves.

The faster the loop, the faster the learning.

Try this (If you feel stuck)

If you've been tweaking something forever and still haven’t shipped it, try this instead:

Send it to 3 people you trust to be honest.

  1. Ask: “What’s confusing or unclear?”

  2. Don’t justify it. Don’t overexplain. Just listen.

  3. Make one change. Ship again.

That's the loop.

It's not sexy. But it works.

Another example of a feedback loop: when somebody does an intro for you, follow up with that person after you had the conversation with your intro. Thank them and provide context. Don’t leave the feedback loop open. You will be surprised with the response

We hide behind perfectionism because it feels safer than rejection.

But safety doesn’t build momentum, feedback does.

Your ego might hate it.

But your future self will thank you for it.

Would love to hear how this resonated with you and what you do about feedback in general.

A few words about me

I’m Irina Constantin - entrepreneur, educator, and avid reader with over a decade of experience in the tech industry. I’m the CEO and co-founder of VAUNT, a bootstrapped, profitable pro-tech startup transforming how residential developers sell properties worldwide.

I started my entrepreneurial journey at 21, founding a software development agency focused on B2B and B2C products. Today, I’m building VAUNT into the operating system of the residential industry. In 2024, over 73 developers actively use our platform to manage more than $1 billion worth of properties.

I’m passionate about leveraging technology to solve real estate challenges and committed to building solutions that create lasting impact. My work has earned me recognition, including being named to the Forbes 30 Under 30 list in 2022.

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